Boomstick
Boomstick is one of the two hosts of the show Death Battle. Fanon Quotes *''IT'S FREAKING SUNKERN!! (Telling Wiz that Magikarp is actually the second weakest Pokemon) *''It's canon to me, okay?! (Raving about how he ships Maka Albarn with Soul Eater) *''Sonic vs. Ruby confirmed, guys. The hype is real.'' (After Wiz calculates Ruby's speed) *''YES! Finally! The one move every fighting game character SHOULD have, AND LILICA FELCHENEROW HAS IT, BITCH!!!'' (Stating being able to stop an unintended attack completely is THE move everybody needs, without being open.) Agentrockluxury3 *''I don't know many people who don't know of this guy. I mean, he's weak, he's got a ponytail, and he's even got a martial arts outfit like Ryu and Ken's... but in PINK! (Describing Dan Hibiki) *''He's Jack Thompson's worst nightmare! ''(Referring to Trevor Philips) *''Oh, and did we mention this guy has some pretty wacky eyebrows? (Referring to Lord Brevon in Lilac's analysis) *''Where can I find that database robot thing? Is there a password? Is it "Boomstick is awesome"? (Wanting Lilac's Giant robo-dragon) *''Well, two questions - one, who was his wife? Cuz that must have been a lot of sex they had. And two... why do they all look so creepy? (Asking about the Tracys) *''Three questions, now - what does Super Mario have to do with puppets and these machines? TV really confuses me sometimes. (Expanding on his questions about the Tracys) *''Maybe it's Thunderbirdium? ''(Taking a stab at what the armour of Thunderbird 2 is composed of) *''How the hell does that work? Does she have some kind of McDonalds or Burger King in that Dream World of hers somewhere?? ''(Referring to Madotsuki's Fat Effect) *''And he blew up a lot of that base. Michael Bay would be proud. (On Omega destroying Eggman's base in the Team Dark intro of Sonic Heroes) *''I'm not a health expert, but that doesn't sound like a healthy eating plan.'' (Referring to Gaston's diet) *''I understand the kind of misunderstanding when it came to Kirby, but come on now, this girl's young, she's got a sweet smile and she's got hair that makes her look like she got ejected from a Taffy machine!'' (Describing Compa) *''But get this - she also gift wraps BOMBS! I don't even--what is it with these kind of characters being psychopaths?!'' (Referring to Amy Rose gift-wrapping bombs as a trap attack in Sonic Battle) *''YES! MORE! MORE ASS-KICKING GUNS! (In the zone with Chains' arsenal) *''Captain Planet would be proud. Or mortified. Maybe both. (On Star-Lord's Element Gun) *''It's like Super Smash Bros with more violence... and without the use of thought.'' (Explaining Pandora's tribe fighting one another under the influence of the spirits of SIn) *''Instead of Guile's simple bicycle kick movement, he opts for a more complicated front-flip forward somersault kick... thing. And then he kicks... again. So... yeah.'' (Attempting to describe Charlie Nash's Flash Kick) *''Man, I wish I could use a Crossfire Blitz in real life. I'd probably win a lot more bar fights.'' (Wanting Charlie Nash's Crossfire Blitz) *''Anyway, by the age of six, he was involved in a plan to BLOW UP THE LOCH NESS MONSTER! Talk about starting your life on a high!'' (On The Demoman's backstory) *''I don't get why he wants it back, though. It's about 10 or 15 feet tall and is essentially a monster! That's not gunna fit in his eye sockets!'' (On The Demoman wanting his eye back despite the fact that it turned into Monoculus) *''I'm surprised these people even have legs left.'' (On the Rocket Jump and Sticky Jump techniques for The Soldier and The Demoman) *''Why the hell would they disallow marriage and sex?! No wonder Skywalker wanted to join the Dark Side!'' (On the Jedi rule and its unfortunate effect on Anakin Skywalker) *''Of course he would be burnt like a steak. Mustafar's a volcanic planet, it's not like SPF-25 is going to prevent that.'' (On Anakin Skywalker's burns following his defeat to Obi-Wan Kenobi on the planet Mustafar) *''He can choke me to death without even touching me AND know all my secrets? Better steer clear of this guy!'' (On Darth Vader's telepathy) *''Worst. Day care. Ever.'' (Summarizing the Umbrella Corporation's Wesker children project) *''Yep - apparently Adeline felt that her son being unable to speak - despite being, y'know, ALIVE and not killed by the guys who kidnapped him - was enough to warrant Slade losing an eye. Guess he can join the pirate club with The Demoman now. (On how Deathstroke lost his eye) *''I still wonder if it closes when he's trying to take a piss... (On Deathstroke's armour) *''This is sounding suspiciously like the backstory of RoboCop...'' (On Monsoon's backstory) *''I get it... because Monsoon is a monsoon, Mistral is mist, and Sundowner is... uh... the sun going down... I guess? (Attempting to match up the names of the Winds of Destruction with their original names) *''He's got a hairstyle that makes him look like a buzzsaw... (On Kenpachi Zaraki's hairstyle) *''Heh-heh, this guy could cut up a wicked sandwich.'' (On Kenpachi Zaraki's Ryōdan ability) *''And after that, they decided to pull a leaf out of Captain America's book and have some serum-based super soldier project, since it was all the rage at the time.'' (Describing the process of Sol Badguy's origin) *''And soon, he would be responsible for the death of the love of his life, making him a GUILTY GEAR! Ah? Ah?'' (Making a pun on the Guilty Gear franchise in relation to Sol Badguy) *''And before you say that the Payday Gang was unprofessional there... those were just Hoxton's unnamed goons. We won't speak of them.'' (On Hoxton's first capture in London) *''And for some reason, he also has a toothbrush... which HE TURNED INTO A KNIFE! That'd be a hard one to explain to the dentist!'' (On Hoxton's Nova Shank) *''I love stories with happy endings, don't you?'' (On Hoxton masterminding the assassination of his snitch) *''He became Gas-Mask Man and fought with the Justice League?'' (Presuming what Mr. Foster does during the night) *''But did London become... a KILLING FLOOR?'' (Providing the question of Mr. Foster's survival as well as Title Dropping the Killing Floor franchise) *''Reminds me of the days we had Compa in. Fun times...'' (On Mr. Foster's Medical Syringe) *''Patriarch? You mean like that one thing Tumblr opposes?'' (Mistaking the monster Mr. Foster continuously faces for something else entirely) *''Being trained by gypsies... Frollo would not approve.'' (On M. Bison's training) *''Yeah, and Rose ended up getting Bison's good half. ...That... came out wrong.'' (On where M. Bison's good half of his soul ended up) *''Not to mention that Bison is our hero, who's gonna take pollution down to zero! He's our next Captain Planet!'' (On M. Bison's surprisingly eco-friendly intentions) *''Look at her! She's like a steampunk British kid with cartoon eyes!'' (On Peacock) *''She gets multiple laser eyes and I don't? Bullshit!'' (On Peacock's Eyes of Argus) *''She's pretty much the Deadpool of the Skullgirls universe...'' '(On Peacock being able to summon all kinds of objects to drop on peoples' heads) *''Then, come enough anger, he grows four more arms from out of nowhere! This is his Six-Armed Vajra, where he can throw more punches and decimate Wii Sports Boxing records! (Explaining Asura's Six-Armed Vajra form) *''Asura gets my vote for Father of the Year.'' (On Asura destroying Chakravartin, the God of Creation, just because he made his daughter cry) *''A backstory that pretty much everyone copied after that for a while. Trust me, we've seen it before.'' (On Superman's backstory) *''Poor bastard. Then again I wouldn't be happy with life if I was allergic to a rock!'' (On Superman's weakness to Kryptonite) Maxevil *''Ha! Suck it, Roger!'' (during the panel of Dr. Curt Connors using a lizard serum on a rabbit) *''Holy Shit, who is that monster imposter?'' (at the start of Venom's analysis) *''Oh boy, I wonder if she gives it to me, like if I were to touch her wonderful jugs, or her wonderful waist area?'' (wondering if the Black Cat can give him bad luck) *''Wait, why do I get the feeling that these girls we are doing are similar to the ninja turtles?'' (as he realizes that there are certain similarities between the Ninja Turtles and the members of W.I.T.C.H.) Nkstjoa *''Because what better way to take care of bullets or shrapnel than a couple volts?'' (on Cole MacGrath's healing abilities) *''Not that it makes this happy little accident any less awkward.'' (on Jin Kazama falling onto his cousin Asuka's chest in her ending) *''Wait, Wiz! The pole-dancing is totally vital!'' (on Kasumi in Dead Or Alive: Xtreme 2) *''What the hell is he even trying to say? That they have something up in their butt?'' (on Liu Kang's gibberish during his trademark bicycle kick) *''...but of course his gosh-darned cocky-honor...ness just had to get in the way.'' (on Scorpion not teleporting his enemies to the Netherrealm in all of his fights) *''And I thought Deathstroke not regrowing his eye didn't make any sense. Good thing Inuyasha didn't cut off anything important.'' (on Sesshōmaru's healing factor]] Yoshirocks92 *''Damn a missile launcher and a mini-gun and they're wielded by a badass chick. Now I would wonder if I can have them?'' (When talking about Noel Vermillion's Bolverk being able to transform into Thor and Fenrir) *''You mean she has a Personally! (When Wiz started to talk about Aigis's Persona)'' Ahomeschoolingroudon * Well how about mighty morphin' travis touchdown? (When Wiz tells Boomstick Travis's Glastonbury isn't a gundam) * Oh how true (Boomstick agreeing with the announcers on Elise's "Awesome rack on her!") * Looks like Data Design Interactive is one of his biggest weaknesses (Reaction to Anubis' scepter passing through opponents) * Thank god this was before Tumblr came around (Reaction to Annie's accomplishments) BMHKain * YES! Finally! The one move every fighting game character SHOULD have, AND LILICA FELCHENEROW HAS IT, BITCH!!! (Stating being able to stop an unintended attack completely is THE move everybody needs, without being open. From Lilica Felchenerow's Analysis)" * Boomstick: We got Pipos with BOXING GLOVES, an UZI, Lightsabers; (Giggles to himself) Damn, Wiz, can't we stop talking about the Pipos? They're too wacky to even be believable AT ALL! (Reaction to how ridiculous the Monkey Archetypes are in Ape Escape. From Specter's Analysis) * Bomstick: OH MY GOD do we HAVE to hear Viridi's BITCHING, and ASSHOLEISMs, not to mention READ THEM!? You're a disgrace to nature, Viridi. I want you, and your Reset Bombs BACK TO HELL. (Boomstick responding to Viridi's jerk personality on SSB for Wii U's Palutena's Guidance mode. From Robin (Fire Emblem)'s Analysis) Fanon Post-Match Puns '''SPOILER WARNING! The following section reveals the outcomes to some What-If? Death Battles. Turn away if you don't want them to be spoiled. You have been warned. *''Looks like Link gave Mario a heart attack. Literally!'' *''Looks like Ant man was crushed'' *''Maul'' was winning, but Vader forced him to lose! ParaGoomba348 *''Kirito just lacked the proper Exsphere-ience!'' *''I Mado-kan't comprehend the outcome of this battle.'' *''This battle was quite smashing.'' *''Jeff's just such a KNIFE guy.'' *''What was the hardest part of this battle for Hiccup and Toothless? The ground!'' *''Colette's looking a little im-pale there.'' *''It's all ogre now.'' *''Renji may be dead, but he lives on in Spear-it.'' *''Mewtwo's chance of victory was a No Cell.'' *''Goku never Kamehame-had a chance.'' *''Vash the Stampede? More like Vash the Stam-pieces!'' *''Morrigan sealed Dark Pit's fate... with a kiss.'' *''This battle was a Kirby-stomp.'' *''A moment of scythe-lence for Ruby?'' *''Was BEN missing? No.'' *''Strange wasn't clowning around.'' Agentrockluxury3 *''Amy just got Compa-letely destroyed!'' *''Trevor was set to take the win, but Dallas stole it right from under his nose!'' *''Now that's what I call a Sonic Boom!'' *''Vader just gave Wesker the splits!'' *''That was one "hack" of a fight!'' *''Franklin's death sure was Overkill!'' *''Slade was so good, Monsoon couldn't pull himself together!'' *''Kenpachi - and the rest of the town - sure felt the burn!'' *''Looks like Foster was out-Hox'd! Heh heh...'' *''Looks like Bison just bombed Peacock!'' *''The Man of Steel finally put an end to Asura’s Wrath.'' Maxevil *''Looks like Croc's chances for a next meal are sunk!'' *''Looks to me that Vector has Crocodile Rocked this battle!'' *''There is no other way to talk STRAIGHT for the fight.'' *''Venom didn't get quite the blast he wanted.'' *''Looks like the Catwoman accidentally let the Black Cat cross her path.'' *''Guess both Meganium and Typhlosion should've known when they had more than they can chew.'' *''In the end, Will got grounded!'' Nkstjoa *''Scorpion should have known better than to stare.'' *''Jin gave it his all, but in the end, he lost his head. The one on his neck.'' *''Sub-Zero nearly had the match until Ken kept his cool and turned up the heat.'' *''Liu Kang gave a hole new meaning to close match, but then Ryu snapped.'' *''Glacius was doing awesome... then he froze up. '' *''He gave Sesshōmaru a good fight, but in the end, Bakusaiga was Vergil's Downfall.'' Yoshirocks92 *''Looks like Aigis just couldn't stand up against Kusanagi'' IdemSplix *''Looks like they knew what 'the fox would say.'' *''Freddy couldn't bear this fight. '' *''Perfect Chaos was just too perfect for Biollante.'' *''Looks like Akihiro was beavered! And Mionzi was burned!'' *''Charizard wasn't 'war'ried at all.'' *''Akihiro 'dra'stroyed them.'' *''Diment and Zaiko lost their heads. And many universes were destroyed...'' *''Looks like Freddy got... fucked.'' Ahomeschoolingroudon * Looks like Hellboy really hit the nail on the head! * Looks like Isaac will be feeling that for all eternity! * Fredrika just wasn't berserk enough for Annie! Venage237 * This battle really heated up in the end. * And because of this, I'm not at all..... Shocked of the outcome...... * Looks like Rainbow Dragon was Rain-Blown Up! * Still, it kinda.... sucks that one Digital Vampire lived on. * Sadly though, this fight just blew up in his face. * Well at least Jill got a slice out of life, before she died. * Well they say it's not easy being green, but I say it's not easy being... Dead! * Still, it looks like Dark Samus was ''Screwed''! * We're going to have calamari for dinner. And Davy Jones will be our cook! * Looks like Monstro's ghost will have a [[Wailord vs. Monstro the Whale|whale of a Tail]] to tell...... if he had a tail. * Looks like Buggy couldn't keep himself from falling apart. BMHKain * Looks like The Unknown Actor ended the console war for SEGA, permenantly! * The Hip Rock Samurai got pwned. But then again, so did an Honorable Miracle 4 member. HOW LAME! * May the Broken Bird have her little ass handed by a Spirit Vessel without MERCY! * Yuzuriha ALMOST had a victory, if it weren't for that ANNOYING DRIVE STAB! Man, we should be balancing Neptunia characters, and NOT give them infinite priority... * WHAT?! Cute little robots should've won?! They don't even know how to fling scat! * Boomstick Whoever said "Never bring a Knife to a Gunfight" is worse than a dumbass! PuasLuisZX * These two are losers. I need finish this with Snorlax.